REALLY safe!

I speak as a business owner, resident, parent of young child.


Introducing a new public safety concern group:  ‘Citizens for a REALLY safe Ashland’

Representing well over 30 resident citizens, and given the current vogue for citizen introduced reasonable and common sense ordinances, ‘Citizens for a REALLY safe Ashland’ want to capitalize on the desire to act in a “timely manner” (or even in a knee-jerk expedited manner) to introduce a comprehensive public safety ordinance that – whilst perhaps not actually addressing any genuine or legitimate issues – does serve to promote a divisive partisan agenda!

Why, we ask, must we settle for merely copying other municipalities poorly thought out, ineffective and unenforceable ordinances when we can craft our own!

European countries are light years ahead, indeed a recent study by the esteemed British Medical Journal proposes banning all kitchen knives over 4” long – because the people would be safer.

Our proposed ordinance, currently being hastily drafted by our team, will seek to

1.  Regulate the public visibility of, and

2.  Seek to punish those that allow minors access to, the following potentially dangerous, often unfamiliar, and in some instances outright scary items:

(i) Knives
(ii) Chainsaws
(iii) Power-tools
(iv) Hammers
(v) Ladders
(vi) Bath tubs

(vii) Swimming Pools
(viii) Car keys
(ix) Alcohol
(x) Prescription and non prescription medication

That this proposed ordinance will be ineffective, and a solution to a problem that does not exist is not of great importance.  What matters is making a statement about “community values”.

And, Remember! This council does not fear litigation.

We can’t ever be too safe, can we.  It’s for the sake of the children, and we – and they – have to be protected from ourselves.

There will of course have to be exceptions for police officers, and other people with government issued permits.

We will email our draft ordinance to you all later in the week, and hope that at least one of you is willing to be as outspoken and enthusiastic as Councilor Voison has recently been.  As she said last night – you as a council “have to make a decision, you have to act in a timely manner”.  Our ordinance will “not propose to take the dangerous items from law abiding citizens”.  Such grass roots ordinances are inherently meritous, and anything we can do to give ourselves a false sense of security and that allows us to proclaim things like “protect our children” and “enhance public safety”, must be right.  Right?

Evidently concepts such as absolute inalienable rights, liberty, and personal responsibility are old-fashioned, outmoded, and frankly quite scary!

To conclude, I hope all council members fully appreciate the genuine and heartfelt concerns that ‘Citizens for a REALLY safe Ashland’ bring before you – our representatives, oath bound to first and foremost uphold our constitutions.

Thank you for your service & your attention.

© Vigo Fox, ‘LIBERTY! Ashland’ and, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Vigo Fox, ‘LIBERTY! Ashland’ and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

16 Comments on “REALLY safe!”

  1. Michael G. says:

    Where can we find reactions from the Council and locals to this great speech?

    • You can’t, yet…

      The proposed ordinance was brought before the City Council by a council member of behalf of some misguided would-be-tyrants, and said council member requested a study session (during which neither debate by council members is allowed or public input). The outcome of the study session was a request that the ordinance be brought before the council for consideration and debate and public input. The date of the first hearing of the ordinance has not at the time of writing been made public.

      The speech given to the council was pre-emptive and was made during the public forum session of a regular meeting. As the item addressed was not on the agenda for the meeting the council were neither required or able to respond.

      Despite many of the assumptions made by viewers of the now viral video, the Open Carry Ban ordinance is not “signed sealed and delivered” – and there is, thankfully, little likelihood that the symbolic and ineffective ban will pass easily. The council, like the public at large, are of mixed opinion regarding “the whole gun issue”.

      Citizens for a REALLY safe Ashland (a project of LIBERTY! Ashland) seeks to expose the fallacious lies and wicked intent of those that seek to control others and socially engineer away our inalienable rights and response-ability!

  2. Brian says:

    Do you have a website, email address, or FB page?

  3. ragnarok says:

    I used to be suggested this website via my cousin. I’m not certain whether or not this put up is written by him as
    nobody else realize such detailed approximately my difficulty.
    You’re wonderful! Thanks!

  4. brad says:

    Why not pots and pans or for that matter lamps and furniture ? They can all be dangerous !
    Ps guns dont kill people bad people with guns kill people. You might think you doing a service but in reality your creating a banana republic. Welcome to Disney World. Ps msnbc I heard is hiring you might n0be able to get on the telli !

    • Thanks Brad, for your thoughtful and creative suggestions. We’ve had lots and lots of suggestions like yours, including the addition of 5 Gallon buckets and pillows. At the end of the day, being absolutely as safe as possible is what matters. That and dis-empowering people, because dis-empowered people are safer. Think about it, farmers poll their cattle for just that reason, it makes them safer to look after. We just want our government to look after us as much as possible. By now the ordinance is getting so long that we’re not even going to let any one read it, we’re going to push the council to pass it – so that we can find out what’s in it!

      • Robert S. says:

        Yay — let’s pass the ordinance so we can
        find out what’s in the ordinance!

      • Exactly! It makes life like an exciting game of Russian roulette! What’s not to like about playing quick and easy with the social and political fabric of our awfully old fashioned and outmoded Nation!? Pass it! Just so long as we’re doing something, it can’t be wrong.

  5. Gennie says:

    How about banning anything made of glass since it could break and you might get a cut?
    What about TV’s and computers too? How many people have been injured from dropping them?
    Better yet – Piano’s! We must ban them too.
    How many people have actually been squished by them?

    • Gennie,

      I see a bright future for you in the public sector!

      You raise a valid issue relating to TV’s and computers as well, clearly there is great harm that can be done by them – not only as heavy blunt objects but also as a medium of communication. It’s time we demanded that that so called “freedom” of speech be more heavily curtailed. Sticks and stones may break bones, but words can really bruise and damage egos, and truth and reason can addle the minds of those not issued the correct government permits.

      Keep up the good work, and we’ll be sure to wrap glass into our really REALLY safe, citizen mandated and common sense for the children, ordinance.


  6. James says:

    I came across this video the other day which had been shared by a non profit tshirt company I am familiar with on facebook. I was very impressed with what you had to say and think more people need to figure out how to do exactly what you did and bring more attention to situations such as this one. In light of this, I would like to buy you a shirt from the above mentioned tshirt company just as a token of appreciation, that is ofcourse if they are your taste. Fear not, they are free of sharp edges, and quite safe for children. If your interested please get in touch with me via the email provided…

    Keep up the good work Sir.

    • James! Your kind words and gifts certainly flatter, and this is appreciated. Thank you!

      However, we are not fond of T-Shirts as there is clearly no safe secondary way out of them. Shirts with buttons, whilst a burden to don and doff, are undoubtedly a much safer proposition should one find oneself in a situation where strangulation may occur. You really can’t ever be too safe.

      However, we would like to channel your generosity and suggest, at this stage, that you consider sending this money that would have been used to buy said ‘noose’ to a worthy (and of course safe) organization.

      Vigo Fox suggests you consider the following:

      $20 to $30 in any of those directions would be, in our opinion, money well spent!

      Best wishes, and Keep REALLY safe!

  7. John says:

    Hilarious. You summarized the tin-foil hat gun control nutjobs, like councilman Voisin, perfectly.

    Thank you.

    • There are two immediate concerns your comment raises:

      1. The first are those sharp cardboard serrations on the tin-foil box. Suggest lightweight kevlar reinforced all purpose oil resistant and latex free work gloves.

      2. The second is nuts. Nuts are not only a choking hazard, but 1:1,893,014 people are allergic to them. SO watch it!

      A secondary concern is aluminum, but we’ll probably all be protective custody (for our own safety of course) before the Alzheimer’s kicks in.

      Play nicely Johno!

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